In exactly 15 days, i will take part in the biggest audition of the year. The all-state music festival audition. Millions (okay maybe hundreds...) of high schoolers across the state of Iowa audition to be a part of the extremely elite and highly competitive symphony orchestra and choir. This year will be my third year auditioning; but hopefully not my third year of..........consecutively not making it in.
As most music programs/ professions/ gatherings/ activities/ stuff goes, some form of an audition to make a group or to get in is required. I can see that as being a reasonable form of entry: naturally whoever will be hiring and paying you big sacks of moulah would want to make sure that they are making the right choice. Even if you weren't getting paid, any conductor or director would want to make sure that you sound at least moderately decent.
That is only pro to auditions: it is in the conductor's interest to hear you. That's pretty much it. Of course besides the fact that your chances of making it into all-state are much, much higher if you audition, it's besides the point.
The cons, however, greatly outnumber the benefits of auditioning.
1) who in there right MIND can show "natural talent" by playing their 3-octave scales with their sixteenth note equal to 88 beats per minute? WHO?????????? Bring me forth, my good people, one individual, one single soul, that can express his true musicianship through the dreadful playing of these horrid inventions! ONE PERSON! THE SCALES PROVE NOTHING!!!!!!! NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (copyright: Inglorious Bastards) Well, maybe perhaps that you can play something super sonic fast and wipe out, but, that's about it.
2) Okay there is a borderline between fun challenging music and hard challenging music. This year for all-state (at least for the violas), the always challenging music isn't so much hard, as it is fun to play! Which is good. But, the excerpts from those fun-challenging pieces aren't exactly the most musical, per se. I mean honestly, when the brass are belting out the counter-melody behind you as you have a run of unrealistically, speed-of-light sixteenth notes (i am NOT exaggerating one bit. you can justify my writings with any orchestra member auditioning....) which no one, not even yourself can hear play, stand in as one of your excerpts, it seems quite pointless -unless you are prepared to pop a sting or set your bow on fire from the sheer force of pressure and friction to play over the brass- to use that specific section as a "test" of your ability. Granted, yes, the music is hard, but if no one will hear it, WHO. CARES.
3) A 1-1:30 minute solo is also another required part of your audition. This is one of the more reasonable portions of your audition....to a degree. Once you finally learn to make your piece sing and flow like it was finally a part of you; finally feel like you achieved something great, and awesome; once you've done everything in your musical ability to have the song magically float off the page and dance in front you in in sheer splendidness: you hear someone else's solo. That right there folks, is like prancing on a cloud... until you are suddenly struck with a massive, whopping rubber mallet that sends you plummeting to the earth as it squashes you flat on the cold hard (and often jagged) ground. No lie. Just the titles of other people's solos sound so much more exotic and fancier; that it makes you feel so insignificant.
scenario:
(I hear someone in the viola practice room playing before the audition)
me: WOAH (insert name of Linn-mar violist here....)! That was super amazing!
Linn-mar violist: eh. Thanks little insignificant Kennedy violist.
me: WHAT SONG IS THAT???
Linn-mar violist: *sigh....* Bach's eighth concerto in F flat minor Opus number 168 in B, second movement. (as he/she flips his/her hair and looks up and away from you)
me: oh.
Linn-mar violist: although i don't really care but have nothing else to do, ill ask you. What solo are you attempting to play?
me: ..............the first Gavotte in Suzuki book 3.
Linn-mar violist: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF MAKING IT INTO ALL-STATE WITH THAT!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHA!
Okay so that actually does not happen, and i promise you altough the Linn-mar violists are wickedly amazing, i have tons of respect for them....Cept when they beat me out for auditions, but, not the point I'm trying to make. See how intimidating it sounds when just what your playing sounds like so....much? It's like a competition in it's own to "see who can pick the solo that has the longest title!" WOOT! ....not.
And for the record as of now:
~All my scales are at metronome 80 decently
~ All my excerpts are where they need to be and maybe even then some
~ My solo (which is actually the Courante from Bach's G major suite) is good. Improving in the next two weeks, yes, but very very very very good.
Will i ready for this audition? Oh heck yes. Will i make it in? ehm...perhaps if a few of the Linn-mar violists "mysteriously happened" to have their viola's spontaneously burst into flame.... :)
(kidding, kidding)
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