Woman Bites off Husband's Tongue

Think making-out with your significant other is is blissful and eccentric? THINK AGAIN.


Unless you are like the slightly confued fellow ("No Brian, that is NOT your wife....") shown up above, your risk of having your tongue bitten out of your mouth is close to 0.000000000001% However, if you were the unlucky 79 year old male resident of Sheboygan, Wisconsion who was married to a slightly insane 57 year-old, chances are, you lost half your tongue.

Authorities stated today that

"The bitten piece of the husband's tongue was recovered, and [that] he was taken to a hospital following the incident late on Monday.The woman, 57, told emergency workers she had 'bit her husband's tongue off (with blood on her clothing)." 

When aithorities discovered the tongue snacher, she was supposedly "singing Christmas carols and blowing a New Year's horn" when the police did arrest her. She is now being held pending formal charges from Wisconsion's formal Disctict Attorney on the count of Felony Mayhem.

The victim stated (in a written statement I'm assuming....) that while he was kissing her, she bit off more than half of his tongue. Prior to the incidnet she was also acting up, suggesting to authorities that this might have been pre-mediated assult.

Wife got your tongue? *nods*

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Kissing as defined by Dictionary.com , states that to kiss is "to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc." NOWHERE IN THAT DEFINITION DOES IT SAY TO "NOW PROCEED WITH BITING OFF HALF OF YOUR HUSBANDS TONGUE." Yuck. could you just imagine that dead piece of muscle just chilling in your mouth? It would be all floppy and lifeless and just swishing around until you spat it out. 

Now unless that is how your make-out sessions usually go (my deepest condolences), then why would you possibly want to bit out our husband's tongue? All the oozing blood would just increase your chances of retracting HIV/AIDS or other blood to blood diseases.....or possibly just staining your shirt for that matter. What's that you say? You were mad at him?? He wasn't listening to you? Didn't want to sit through another one of your emotional breakdonw conversations??? Well for goodness sake don't mutilate the one organ in his body that will allow for him to expalin himself to you!! Yeesh people, let's think before we act here! 

Something that i found peculiar with this article aside from the incredibly creepy and unfortunate story were the ages of the couple. 57 and 79? 32 seems like a big gap....but whatever floats your boat! Also, the fact that the lady was singing Christmas carols and dancing around with noise makers  when the police found her tripped up a wire in my brain leading me to think that she might have been, oh.... i don't know..mentally not quite there?

Well folks, love comes in many different forms and sizes.......however biting off your significant other's tongue? NOT advised.