Saturday, January 22, 2011

Swallowed Cell Phone Keeps Ringing in Crocodile

The notorious croc in Peter Pan has a twin.



A report earlier this week in Keiv, Ukraine stated that 20 year old Rimma Golovko had accidentally dropped her Nokia phone in the crocodile exhibit at a local aquarium while trying to obtain a very up close shot, resulting in a crocodile swallowing it whole. How can vetreniarians tell? Golovko's phone still rings when called.

 "But then the phone started ringing and the sound was coming from inside our Gena's stomach and we understood she wasn't lying," said Maria Danilova of AOL News about an employee working with the crocodiles at the aquarium.

An X-Ray test will be done next week if the crocodile still refuses to eat or to pass a bowel, and would be under the care of  chief veterinarian Oleksandr Shushlenko.

"Everything (including possible surgery) will depend on where the foreign body is located," Shushlenko stated. "We don't have much experience working with such large animals."


but either way, I guess you don't have to go to neverland to experience the thrill of the ticking, sorry, ringing, croc.

Padded Underwear Enhance Male Butts Worldwide

Need more junk in your trunk?

BottomsUp padded underwear

A Canadian based manufacturing company strategically named "BottomsUp" and started by founder Rick Mucha, has run their successful padded  underwear line for men and women under the motto "Building a Better Bottom" for about 10 years. The Company develops various kinds of shape-enhancing garments for both men and women, but focus their attention more on the male derriere.

 Mucha has told AOL Online News that he has been selling padded boxer-briefs for the past 10 years; and that the male market for them is expanding.

"The underwear have built-in pockets in the butt area designed to hold special BottomsUp butt pads, which come in three gradually expanding sizes: 'Quarterback,' 'Halfback' and 'Fullback'. The garments, which are priced at $39.99 per pair, also boast a pouch in the crotch area in case men want to slip a separate pad in the front for added girth," states Monica Garske of AOL News.

"First-time customers usually go with the 'Quarterback' size, just to give it a try. Once they get comfortable and are satisfied with the product, they gradually go up in size to 'Halfback' and 'Fullback.' The padding looks really natural. It's an easy, inexpensive way for guys to be able to fill out their jeans better," Mucha said.

And what's more, all the design that went into this is anatomically accurate, as theses were based off of real idealistic butts. Mucha's team of researchers scoped out the best looking butts (well someone had to do it.....), took the owners of these desired rear-ends in for molding, and designed on from there.

Each set of underwear creates a defined image of a butt due to the middle seam separating the two pads, removing the awkward design of just having one expanded butt cheek.

However from the start, Mucha claims that he did not design these pads for aesthetic purposes, but for the relief of those who wore his padded undergarments. In 2001 Mucha designed his first pair of BottomUp undergarments to help a friend of his suffering from muscle deteration due to contracting HIV/AIDS. When it became excruciatingly uncomfortable for him to sit, his good friend Mucha came up with the design for the padded underwear.

Soon after this initial idea, many frequent fliers were known to have purchased these butt cushions in order to add some support to their effort some derrieres for long flights.

With all this focus on men, many have asked about Mucha's products for women. As Garske states again in this story, "...he also offers a line of padded panties for women but, let's face it, we gals have plenty of butt-enhancing products out there to choose from," leaving the men in Mucha's focus.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie..............."

Woman Eats Couch Cushions

Many cope with stress in different ways: exercising, eating, playing video games.....eating couch cushions...

click here to watch the TLC "My Strange Addiction" segment of Adele's problem

A Bradenton, Floridian native, 30 year old Adele has been compulsively munching on sofa cushions for the past 20 years. As of today, she has successfully consumed 7 couches and 2 chairs,

"even going so far as to prepare snack-sized servings of couch cushions," states Joe Peacock from AOL Online News.

Adele is featured on TLC's "My Strange Addiction" which features many Americans and their, well, strange addictions. However Adele's, according to psychologist Jason Mihalko, is a lot more detailed than most; most notably based off a medical condition termed "Pica".

"Pica is characterized by an individual having a desire to eat nonfood substances," Mihalko told AOL News. "It's most often seen in young children and women. There are cases of pica where people eat metal, dirt, feces, chalk, writing utensils and  tree sap," he said.

But what is the cause of this strange psychological disorder? Well no on knows. Many have suggested that some from of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder could play a role in the development of craving to consume non-food substances, however not enough research has been done to verify this hypothesis.

As for Adele, she stated that she started her couch consumption at the age of 10; the same year her parents divorced, leading to speculation about her addition to be just a psychological mishap.

"Some people with OCD get relief from enormous amounts of stress when they engage in whatever their particular behavior is, whether it be checking locks, washing hands or other obsessive behavior, while some experience enormous stress in engaging in these behaviors." Mihalko states.

But whatever the cause may be, expect to be sitting on the floor when you visit her house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First off, and I think most reading this would have this same question, but, how does her body digest the couch foam? And how has it done so for 20 years??!?! In all honesty I have had pieces of couch cushion in my mouth before (come on we've all jumped into those foam pits at gymnastics class before....) and quite honestly, the taste is distasteful, the feel is awkward, and just consuming it would feel wrong to me. However i do respect that this is indeed a psychological occurrence and that I do find it interesting and respect Adele's privacy and ways. But really....... with all those couch cushions out of the way, I'm sure she can find those pennies that fell through the cushions last week..... 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Bleeding Heart Candy in Time For Valentines Day

The biology geek inside of me is begging desperately for one of these. DESPERATELY.


This gummi heart created by David Klein weighs 2.5 pounds and oozes candy blood in 11 different spots.


Just in time for the holiday of love, stop by your local candy store to pick up your special someone hearts to spill out your undefying love. Okay wait, pick up A heart. A anatomically accurate, 2.5 pound, candy blood oozing, heart.


From the makers of the world known Jelly Belly's comes this newest rendition of candy hearts. Able to ooze blood in 11 different places (or everywhere granted you just slice it in half.......), this newest creation will be stocked on the shelves alongside of, "...foot with a gangrenous toe, candy urine and a plateful of candy barf," as AOL News reporter Deconinck stated earlier this week.


Ahhhhh love.....


Click here to read more about these delictably scientific treats
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So sooooooooo many punns", "I love you. And to show you, here is my heart.", "Take my heart, and keep it forever.", "LOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!! IT OOZES BLOOD FROM THE SUPERIOR VENA CAVA AT THE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT RATIO THAT THE LEFT VENTRICAL WOULD BE PULSING AT SWEETIE!!! " Okay yeah that last one I can see myself doing in the future if my cardiologist husband (well we can all dream, can't we?) were to have brought that home. Frankly, to the non-sicence nerds out there, this might be a bit too much, but I would LOVE  to receive one of these on Febuary 14th.
  

Spanish King's Ringtone Deemed Funny

The King of Spain might need one of these....


Last Monday it became annoyingly clear that King Juan Carlos of Spain is just like any other common man with a cell phone. During a meeting between the Spanish King with South and Central America's newest Ambassadors from Honduras, the 73 year old King was abruptly cut off as the sound of giggling children filled the news room.

As Spanish guards began to react, they soon realized it was a cell phone...the KING'S cell phone. 

A flustered King Juan supposedly shuffled over to the drawer where his phone was located and turned it off, apologizing after for the minor interruption and continued on with congratulating the newest members of the Spain's ambassadors. 

After the incident, the King reportedly said nothing on the matter, claiming nothing in particular to be the source of his unusual yet adorable incoming call ring. However as Andra Varin of Aol News reports that,
"...he (the King) and Queen Sofia do have eight grandchildren. The youngest are the 5-year-old Infanta Leonor and 3-year-old Infanta Sofia, daughters of Crown Prince Felipe and Crown Princess Letizia, and 5-year-old Irene Urdangarin, daughter of Infanta Cristina."

A case of a super lovable grandfather? I think so.

Click here for more information about this embarrassing incident
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Above all, what caught me off guard was that i began to realize, "oh yeah. Kings and Queens and royalty CAN have cellphones." It just doesn't fit my stereotype of fancy robes and knights in armor defending their royal castles. Now that I think about it, those knights are their secret service; contacted, how? Through their phones and other wireless devices. Now on the subject of the actual phone going off...WOW. HAHAHA E.M.B.A.R.R.A.S.S.I.N.G. Seriously though, why would you have your phone sitting in a nearby desk? Okay, better than your gold encrusted pockets of the fancy-schmancy pants you are dawning right now, but at LEAST put it on vibrate! Silent would have even been better your highness. 

Da Vinci's Lint "Last Supper"

I hope you aren't allergic to dust.


Just this past week Laura Bell of Roscommon, Michigan had completed her rendition of one of Leonardo Da Vinci's greatest masterpieces: The Last Supper. However it is not in an "artistic" element, so to speak. Laundry lint dawns the faces of Jesus and his disciples as Da Vinci had portrayed them over 300 years ago. 


This photo provided by Ripley's Believe It or Not shows a... Anthony Scipio / AP


 According to Bell, her 14 foot long by 4 foot tall masterpiece took 200 hours to create, on top of another 800 loads of laundry to do.


According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Bell had, "...bought towels of the colors she wanted and laundered them separately to get the right shades of lint."
Soon catching the eyes of the infamous book series "Ripley's Believe It or Not", Bell's replica of this historic masterpiece might soon be inducted into one of the company's museums nationwide.
Amen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It astonishes me to see how much time this woman had on her hands to make this amazing feat come true. I'm sure it took a lot of patience and of course loads of laundry to make this epic rendition reality. I feel like most would overlook this detail, but I hope everyone realizes that her electricity and water bill must have been through the roof over the course of this "art project". I"m interested in finding out if she washed these towels continuously everyday? Or just on family laundry day? Either way, AWESOME rendition. Kudos to you!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Suicidal Man Jumps from Bulding, Saved by Garbage Below

Geranimo!!!!


After 26 year old Vangelis Kapatos was standing on his 9th story window ledge about to jump out and end his life, authorities were sure that he wasn't expecting the massive heap of garbage awaiting his decent.

Sanitation workers in New York city have not collected the trash since December 26th of last year due to freak snow storms and the hiloday season. In effect, mountians of garbage lined the streets of New York several feet high, which served as a soft and unsuccessful landing for Kapatos.

Because of the suicidal jump Kapatos was hospitalized in a critical but stable condition on monday, and his family's complaints about the lack of garbage pickup have all but dissappeared.

"Everybody is complaining that the trash hasn't been picked up," Kapatos' aunt said on Monday. "But me, I'm thankful that it was never picked up."


New York mayor Michael Bloomberg stated eariler this week that he expects his workers to be caught up with all the trash collection by this friday(1/7/11): all 77,000 tons of it since last christmas.

"It will take a few days to catch up,"
Bloomberg states, "But they're out there today and hopefully in the next three to four days, we'll be done with it."


Supposed depression triggered Kapatos to jump from his 9th story building, in addition to worry for eviction from his apartment, and his loss of finicial aid.


Now he has a medical bill to add to his expenses.....just saying.

Hijacking Alert Activated from Spilt Drink in Cockpit

HELP!! THE PLANE IS BEING HIJACKED!!!BY.... a cup of coffee?


Reports from earlier this week described a hijacking alert sent to air traffic control: all becuase of a spilt beverage in the cockpit.

During a flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany, light turbulance was experienced, causing one member in the cockpit to spill his beverage on some equiptment. The drink happened to damage the radio control box between air traffic control and the pilots, enevitably triggering a hijacking alert to be enacted.

To verify this clame true and not a trickery of terrorit organizations, United spokesperson Rahsaan Johnson told reporters that, " During a period of light turbulence, a cockpit crew member's beverage spilled, causing issues with the airplane's communications equipment."


Rather than continuing with the risky 8+ hour flight to Frankfurt with no radio contact, the pilot decied to land the plane monday night in Toronto. Passangers were then provided with hotel accomidations and flights back to Chicago in attempt to fly them back to their Frankfurt destination once more.

North Pole Shift Affects Tampa Flights

Santas going Russian.



In a report given earlier this week by a National Geographic News report, the Earth's north pole is slowly shifing towards Russia almost 40 miles per year. And who is affected? Airports, namley Tampa International Airport in Florida.

As Airport officials close their runways until the 13th of this month, many are left wondering why and what the correlation is between the magnetic shifts and airplane flights.

"Magnetic changes in Earth's core are causing this, possibly due to 'a region of rapidly changing magnetism on the core's surface,'" according to a National Geographic report.

But usually magnetic shifts don't cause major airport shut downs, but in the case of Tampa International, piolits wanted to be absolutley sure of their correct heading.


"You want to be absolutely precise in your compass heading," FAA spokesperson Paul Takemoto said. "To make sure the precision is there that we need, you have to make these changes."


Another FAA spokesperson, Kathleen Bergen also stated that the earth's magnetic poles are shifting constantly; however with changes of more than three degrees, airports need to re-calculate headings and direction based on longitude, lattitude, and the magnetic poles.

As of now it is not known if other airports world-wide will need time off for re-calibration.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wiki-Leaks Revails Another BP Oil Disaster

On a more serious note for this blog post, news has surfaced that world renouned British Petrolum had a "boo-boo" 19 months before their devistating Mexico gulf oil spill. How do we know? Wiki-Leaks.

In waters off the cost of tiny Azerbaijan, BP's oil rig in the Caspian Sea underwent a similar catastrophic explosion and blow up of the oil pipes. The culprit? A faulty cememt job: the same cause of the Deepwater Horizon incident last April.

But why hadn't we heard about this story sooner? Why did no one speak out about this incident eariler?

"Unless you were on the inside you didn't know how serious it was," says Edward Chow, senior fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington. "The cables (information), first published in London's Guardian, demonstrate the sharp contrast between the saturation coverage of the Gulf blowout, and the Azerbaijan leak that was barely covered in the local press."


And in even further speculation,"[If you look at the larger picture], BP has had safety problems for more than five years now," Chow says. "It has been well documented, even before the Azerbaijan news."

But it is here when we address how the Caspian Sea blowout even surfaced in the first place. Julian Assange, the world's newest wanted "felon" released earlier this week BP's older, and covered up, incident. Had this information not surfaced, would this change the minds and hearts of those affected by the Gulf oil spill? If this incident was made public sooner, perhaps the Deepwater Horizon catastrophy would never have surfaced? So many questions unanswered...

As TIME Magizine online puts it, not much focus went into how this information was released, rather, what the informantion contained. But shouldn't we be focusing more on how it was made known to the world?

Wiki-Leaks has been the center of major international concern the past few months, all circling around the fact that the information this site has been posting could be used against many dominating countries and world leaders. Another BP oil spill disaster is importat to learn about, however we should be more concerned about how this information came to be more than anything else.

Yet another example of new technology and their catostrophic downfalls.

Monday, December 20, 2010

MY Current Events- LA, California Part 1

This week i'm going to be taking a quick break from all the excitment the world has to offer and narrowing it down to what LA and San Diego bring to the table.

I left to go to the Des Moines International Airport for their 6 A.M. flight to Denver, Colordao in hopes of making it to LA, California last saturday. Now for those of you who have flown with me, namely an sswimming indian and a curly-haired runner, you know that me + planes = MOTION SICKNESS. So as I was distracted in preparing for the worst and praying that my plane wouldn't crash or that I would get pulled over by the TSA fro being Middle Eastern, I didn't take my motion sickness pills. gasp.

So as the capitan announces that we will be having a smooth and fast one hour and 30 min flight,i begin to think, "phew. this won't be so bad! My medicine....s***." Of course I didn't take it. So as the plane prepares to acend -the WORST part of flights in general, hands down- I begin thinking happy thoughts and start humming Bruno Mars's Grenade in hopes of keeping me distracted.

Low and behold, I woke up an hour into the flight, wondering where I was, what had happened, and why I wasn't covered in puke. I DIDN'T GET SICK!!!! I DIDN'T GET SICK WITHOUT TAKING MEDICINE!!!! oh wow was i surprised.

The same occurance occured on my second flight from denver to LAX, and boy was it a blissful two hour flight :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Putin Shows Off Golden Pipes for Charity

In Soviet Russia, song sings you.



Vladimir Putin. The name sends shivers down spines. Mental images of a cloaked Russian vampire fill the heads of millions world wide. Vladimir Putin. VLADIMIR PUTIN.....singing?

At a recent fundraiser event in St. Petersburg, Russia for children's cancer research, Russia's current prime minister and former president threw caution to the wind and took up the chance to become a real Miley Cyrus for the day. The classic tune "Blueberry Hill" was belted out beautifully by the world renounced Russian leader, first while playing the piano, then going solo at the mic.

Before performing, Putin stated that, "Like the majority of people I cannot sing nor dance, but still love doing it."

And truly, the video has to be seen to be understood... but it just goes to show that anything is possible when you are in Russia.

Much applause has gone out to Putin for singing on national television for a great cause, and has opened many eyes around the world to the multi-talented man behind the Russian Empire.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Jesus Sighted in Australian Pub

ARMAGEDDON!!!!



2.1 billion Christians around the world today would have called this poor paint job a wonderful blessing.

The front door of the Seanchai Irish Tavern in Australia bears the image of what appears to be the Lord, Jesus Christ. A pub's regular pointed out the "miracle" to owner John Keohane -a devout Irish Catholic. Ever since then, an influx of visitors have given the pub new business.

"I would like to think it was because we are an Irish pub and maybe, just maybe, he [Jesus] heard about the divine pints of Guinness!" Keohane told AOL News.

Aside from curious tourists popping in for a peak and a drink, very many under aged citizens have become intrigued in what some people say is a "sign" from the Lord.

"We have even had school groups and Australian bus tours coming to have a look and take photos," Keohane said.

And as for the stripping paint? No intention of repairing it seems imminent in the near future, according to Keohane. As of now, Jesus is covered up with a sheet of Perspex to keep the image from further deteriation.

"We had somebody (a local Australian Parish) ask us what steps we were taking to preserve it until it got checked out properly," Keohane said.

All in all, not exactally the best place for an image of Jesus...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toast, a Cheeto, a Kit-Kat bar, a household iron, a rotting banana, a telephone pole, and on Mars. The long list of places where Jesus has been sighted. And now added to the list? On the door into an Irish Pub. On the door into the pub. hahahahahahahahaa ooooooh boy, the irony. But still, a very cool find i must say. Yes the hype over the Jesus sightings are a tad overworked, but I must say, they make for a fun "mystical" sightseeing adventure.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Protesters of Berlin Strip Naked due to High Cost of Rents

Residents of Berlin, be warned!

"Protesters in Germany have been scheduling viewings of apartments they consider overpriced, then stripping naked for impromptu dance parties."
Protesters against high living costs in Berlin have decided to demonstrate their anger by requesting to view high-end apartment structures, then striping stark naked and holding a dance party inside. People participating in the "strip protest" claim to be members of the "Hedonist International." (a group with which I could find no major information about other than a website and a blog which had the words "DO WHAT YOU WANT" posted as their title...) 

"What we're doing is not a crime," one of the organizers told The Local. "These are public viewings, and we are not entering the apartments by force." 

But this isn't the first time the Hedonist International has danced around in their birthday suits for a cause. a similar event took place September 26th of this year. Members say that

 "Berliners don't have a lot of purchasing power -- some people have to pay so much rent that they can no longer afford clothes."

Hence, the naked-ness. But what of the dance parties?

"Although the apartment passed our party test, we were pissed about the rent of 11.50 euros per square meter -- that's excluding utilities and heating costs," the group has stated."Trying to find someone stupid enough to pay that price borders on illicit profiteering."
And their claims are right. In past years, the average price of an average home in Berlin was relatively cheap, compared to those in London, Paris, and New York. However, the Hedonists and their official Nudist Offensive Action Committee (Aktionskomitee Nudistische Offensive)say prices in formerly affordable neighborhoods are beginning to soar.

Even though the nude protesters make a big impact socially, politically they are not respected by the real estate industry, which finds the group a nuisance and juvenile.
 
All in all, i just hope it's warm in those apartments....
FIGHTING THE SYSTEM? OH YES

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Woman Bites off Husband's Tongue


Think making-out with your significant other is is blissful and eccentric? THINK AGAIN.


Unless you are like the slightly confued fellow ("No Brian, that is NOT your wife....") shown up above, your risk of having your tongue bitten out of your mouth is close to 0.000000000001% However, if you were the unlucky 79 year old male resident of Sheboygan, Wisconsion who was married to a slightly insane 57 year-old, chances are, you lost half your tongue.

Authorities stated today that

"The bitten piece of the husband's tongue was recovered, and [that] he was taken to a hospital following the incident late on Monday.The woman, 57, told emergency workers she had 'bit her husband's tongue off (with blood on her clothing)." 

When aithorities discovered the tongue snacher, she was supposedly "singing Christmas carols and blowing a New Year's horn" when the police did arrest her. She is now being held pending formal charges from Wisconsion's formal Disctict Attorney on the count of Felony Mayhem.

The victim stated (in a written statement I'm assuming....) that while he was kissing her, she bit off more than half of his tongue. Prior to the incidnet she was also acting up, suggesting to authorities that this might have been pre-mediated assult.

Wife got your tongue? *nods*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kissing as defined by Dictionary.com , states that to kiss is "to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc." NOWHERE IN THAT DEFINITION DOES IT SAY TO "NOW PROCEED WITH BITING OFF HALF OF YOUR HUSBANDS TONGUE." Yuck. could you just imagine that dead piece of muscle just chilling in your mouth? It would be all floppy and lifeless and just swishing around until you spat it out. 

Now unless that is how your make-out sessions usually go (my deepest condolences), then why would you possibly want to bit out our husband's tongue? All the oozing blood would just increase your chances of retracting HIV/AIDS or other blood to blood diseases.....or possibly just staining your shirt for that matter. What's that you say? You were mad at him?? He wasn't listening to you? Didn't want to sit through another one of your emotional breakdonw conversations??? Well for goodness sake don't mutilate the one organ in his body that will allow for him to expalin himself to you!! Yeesh people, let's think before we act here! 

Something that i found peculiar with this article aside from the incredibly creepy and unfortunate story were the ages of the couple. 57 and 79? 32 seems like a big gap....but whatever floats your boat! Also, the fact that the lady was singing Christmas carols and dancing around with noise makers  when the police found her tripped up a wire in my brain leading me to think that she might have been, oh.... i don't know..mentally not quite there?

Well folks, love comes in many different forms and sizes.......however biting off your significant other's tongue? NOT advised.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Policed Called on Kid's Cupcake Sale

Cupcakes for sale?!!?! YOUR GOING TO JAIL.



Less than a month ago, 13 year-olds Kevin Graff and his friend Andrew DeMarchis' usual bake sale in a Chappaqua, New York park had an unexpected customer: local police.

New Castle Councilman Michael Wolfensohn had called the said police upon the boy's bake sale on the counts of them not possessing an official permit to sell goods to local residents. Kevin's mother stated that both are "good kids" and that the police call terrified them.

DeMarchis and Graff have not set up shop since the incident occured.

Local interviews with the New Castle Councilman provide statements that say that Wolfensohn admits he was a bit "extreme" on the boys, however that he still holds firm that "rules are rules."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. This one is a FAIL. Seriously? Calling the FEDERAL AUTHORITIES on two kids selling brownies? SERIOUSLY?.........sigh. What has our great nation come to. Yes coming from a political figure i can understand how everything would and should be done by the book and how yes, rules are rules. But honestly. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? Calling the cops on two kids offering rice-krispies to locals at a park. Please tell me one thing WRONG with that statement. No wait, tell me one thing RIGHT. You say that is an easy task? WELL OF COURSE IT IS BECAUSE THIS IS A VERY NATURAL OCCURRENCE! For goodness sake two young boys are just getting involved in their community, selling cupcakes and goodies. I know if i was at a park with my friends or family that i would  be a generous citizen, approach the (well) strategically located bake sale stand, and proceed to purchase a cookie for a very minimal payment.

Now see Mr. Wolfensohn (or anyone else) Is that such a threat to society? Were there any lives lost or in dangered in this horrid epidemic? No. I think not.

British Knit Sweaters for Needy Chickens

Click here to see another take on this sweater idea

In the midst of all the economic downturn in the United Kingdom, Great Britain prevails in their battle against: cold chickens.

UK – Dozens of bald chickens recently rescued from a factory farm with battery cages are wearing hand-knit sweaters – or jumpers – until their feathers grow back. Their cozy and fashionable winter attire is thanks to a group of local knitters, who sound like, if we may say, great chicks themselves.  – Global Animal

In Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, a small group of knitters have been transfixing mini "jumpers" (British talk for sweaters) for featherless hens that have been rescued from British Chicken farms in their town. The group's founder, Amy Leader, says that

"In the winter, the hens need a little bit of helping keeping warm, and that's what the chicken jumpers are for."

The group has been working since June on these little warm creations, and has dished out a little over 100 new chicken jumpers for needy hens. Because of the harsh living conditions in a poultry factory, most hens shed or lose their feathers. As they try to re-grow their feathers again, some just need a little extra help staying warm.

After being asked by a customer at her shop if she had any outfitted sweaters for chickens to be used by a local charity, Leader became inspired and started asking her customers for volunteer knitters to help the cause. Now adays, Leader and her "chicks" (including one lone male volunteer) donate all the sweaters, each made in about 2.5 hours, to a humane society which then distributes the warm jumpers to families that have adopted the saved chickens.

"What's really lovely about a chicken jacket is it doesn't have to be perfect, because -- come on -- it's for a chicken," Leader tells AOL Online.

As of this last Wednesday, Leader is enthusiastic about crafting red and green Holiday themed jumpers for the hens to don as the season of Christmas comes closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me just start by saying how hard it was for me to not burst into random fits of laughter as i progressed through the various articles pertaining to this story. Okay since I've been holding it in, I'll let it out now.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. Alright, done. 

I'm not intentionally dissing the knitters in any way! I truly do thank them for there concern with the well-being of their country's chickens and their openness to accept many different animal rights movements. And besides, it is for a good cause! I know if i was just rescued from a human-like poultry farm that i would want a sweater to keep me warm had all my clothes been taken away. But besides the point, this article brought to my attention the extreme generosity that many average day people undergo, everyday. It helps to shine a light on how people find the little things in life more worthwhile than others; in this particular case, how knitting sweaters with a group of friends for an animal rights cause can really make a difference in today's society. With horrid economic conditions and finical melt downs, it is always heartening to hear/read/see/look/watch a sincerely good deed being done.

Spanish Woman Claims to Own the Sun

The Sun: A massive fiery ball of heat that have kept creatures and living organisms alive for zillions of years.

The Sun: Now (supposedly) owned by a woman in Spain.



See anything wrong with this claim? According to 49 year old Salvaterra do Mino native, Angeles Duran, no. A local resident in Spain, Duran has issued a claim to the 4.5 billion year old ball of gas through the Agence France-Presse reports. But she's not the only one who's tried the lay claim to other celestial bodies. Being influenced by Dennis Hope's claim to owning the Moon in 1980, Duran states that

"I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it, but anyone else could have done it -- it simply occurred to me first."

And her exact claim? She states that she is:
…owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000 kilometres.
But with International Space Laws in effect, namely the United Nations Outer Space Treaty issued in 1967, how did Angeles loop her way around to actually (claim to) gain possession of our solar system's most prominent and important feature? Well according to the President of the Netherlands-based International Institute of Space Law, Tanja Masson-Zwaan, you can't.

"They [people like Duran and Hope] argue that the Outer Space Treaty only binds states because it is an intergovernmental treaty -- an agreement between states -- and therefore, individuals can do what they want," she said. "This is not true. A citizen is given its rights as a citizen by the state and should live by the laws of that state, and cannot do things that the state is not allowed to do."

So as this inter-celestial battle unfolds in Western Europe, we can just sit back, relax, and blame Duran for the annoying sun burns you'll be getting this upcoming summer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before I begin let me just say......wow. Seriously? OWNING the sun? Yes i agree that it is in fact a tremendous ego-booster to have -makes for great stories at the office party- however is superfluous. The Sun is the one "magical spectacle" that allows for life on Earth. That burrito you're gorging right now Duran? Yeah, made with everything that has been in some way or form, impacted by the Sun. You can't really own something that every living thing on earth needs and uses. It's just not right, and a tad tacky. You know that thing you learned in Kindergarten? What was it....ohhhh, sharing? I believe that maybe the basic principles of "sharing" could be applied here.

But on the other hand, it is extremely cool to say that "I" own the sun. Lets say it together now, "I OWN THE SUN." Do you feel that powerful surge of awesomness flowing through you as you chant that to your walking neighbors as they look at you funny from your front porch? I own the Sun. Priceless. Well, in theory, probably not, as Duran had to pay to issue her claim with the Agence France-Presse reports. But that being besides the point, what a great -yet tacky- way to show off.

 Step aside Helios, there's a new sun God in town.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Halloween Approaches!: A Poem

As Halloween approaches
teachers deck out in broaches,
of pumpkins, ghosts, and pesky cockroaches.
But what do I do? I jump out with glee,
as Halloween is a splendid time for me!
Filled with creepy songs and frightening sights,
Halloween is my favorite of nights.
No average ghost or vampire for me,
my costume ideas fill me with glee!
Medusa, eggs, zombie nerd;
all past appearances, while trick-or-treating in a herd.
But what of this year you ask?
Am I do don a cloak, a mask?
Princess slippers with jewels, or a cat's tail with whiskers?
Well, whichever will get me more Snickers.

And the candy selections? Please at all costs;
no pretzels, apples, or Dots.
Halloween is idolized as a night of enjoyed CANDY and sweets,
not an evening of fruits and low-cal beets.
So when you are candy shopping the night before,
PLEASE. Buy stuff that will want to makes kids go to your door.

Halloween on a Sunday night?!
Oh no, what a fright!
What about school the next day,
do we stay out all night and play?
Or head in early for the night with out any complaining?
I'm thinking so, in order for smooth sailing.
Halloween is supposed to be a night of fun!
lots of candy and costumes and bottles of rum!
Okay so not rum, but you get the picture,
Halloween will be a blast!
Minus getting up early the next day for class.... 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Oven-baked Tans and Bleach-blonde Hair? I Don't Think So

DISCLAIMER:
*In order to preserve the anonymity of this blog(s), i will refrain from relating my own personal attributes to it, just for the sake of keeping the identity of ninjasurfer a close secret. Thank you for your cooperation :)      

There are many different definitions of the term "beauty".

 "The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)," courtesy of Dictionary.com; or, "The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit," via Miriam-Webster Online . Both of these definitions are analytically correct, which is the reason why i think the world has taken too literally.

Beauty doesn't just come from appearance, which is what i think most people perceive it out to be; it is so much more. Beauty should be natural, a trait unique to you and only you; something that you have that no one else in the world possesses; that in itself is simply beautiful. Natural Beauty is when you are able to recognize the assets that make you, you, and being confidentially able to show it off to the world. You know when you have achieved true Natural Beauty when you are able to accept who you are as a person, imperfections and all, and still love living life and those who embrace your diversity. 

But does natural beauty come from going tanning twice a week? Wearing only the "cool" and expensive brands? Does it come from applying so much make-up, you look like a perfect porcelain doll? Or from freaking. styling. your. hair. every. single. day. ? IT might help you look beautiful, but it's not beauty. It's not the real you. It's not the unique you. 

walking the halls of Kennedy suit as a REPUGNANCE to me. Most girls i see are decked out in super tight, revealing clothes; loaded with powdery faces and artificially straight/curly hair, or look like they just popped out of the oven at 350 degrees with the "Gingerbread Man". 

Now I'm not trying to hate, honest. If you think that is who you are and it makes you feel beautiful, then go for it; be my guest. 

Just answer me this: if every other girl is doing the same thing, how will YOU stand out? How will your own style and God-given beauty shine? Don't you want the world to see how you truly are? Why are you changing yourself? If people don't accept your appearance or just you as a person, then that's their loss. 

Don't be someone you're not.